Tephan.Is.On.Fire

A lot of the time, I wish I could make her happier than I can make myself.
And most of the time, it’s true.

Lately, I’ve been financially stabbing myself in the back.
All because of a car.  All because of my expensive taste.
If it wasn’t for the $275 dollar car payment.  The $175 a month insurance premium.  If it wasn’t for these, I’d be set.  I wouldn’t be struggling to survive.  The five months I was without a car, I kept pushing my insurance payment.  I barely even made my car payments on time.  Now, I still pay $275 a month for my car payment.  Since I haven’t paid my insurance company in five months, I now owe them around $1075 dollars.  They want me to pay around $600 at the end of the month and I can’t financially afford it.  Not till the middle of November.

I hate being financially fucked.
Ontop of that, because my plates didn’t get taken care of like I thought they were, I got pulled over today and fined $170 dollars.  So, let’s do some math.

170 (ticket) + 120 (plates) = $290.
I won’t even be able to afford to do either till November.
So, with that being said, I’ll have a $275 car payment on top of that.
And I’ll have to pay another $175 for insurance that month.
That’s $740 dollars due by the 15th of November.
Can I not catch a fucking break?
I only bring home around a grand a month, including my new job at Best Buy.

I’m just stressed.  I’m going back and forth from being homeless, trying to stay in shape, trying to make sure my girlfriend is happy, trying to make it back and forth to school and work.  Just, I’m struggling.  And I wish I didn’t have to.

It feels like I’m affecting my relationship because of the financial situations I put myself in.  I’m just glad my car is payed off in February.  I hope that after this month, I’ll be able to be stable enough to go see Hannah whenever I want to.  I just hate playing catch up.  I’ve contemplated selling stuff to catch up.  But I know it won’t be worth it.

Just someone, please.  Remind me that things will get easier once in a while.
I can surely fucking use it.